Wie ein echter Redneck aus Oklahoma seinen Jeep auf craigslist inseriert –Wahnsinns-Text!
Hier wird nicht nur ein Jeep inseriert, hier geht es um eine ganze Weltanschauung eines Rednecks von echtem Schrot und Korn.
Man muss solche Typen nicht unbedingt mögen (insbesondere die auch hier zutage tretende Waffen-Verliebtheit), aber wer sich nicht nur für amerikanische Autos interessiert, sondern auch für das Leben in Amerika, für den ist der Verkaufs-Text ein Muss!
Zitate aus dem Text: (Das Inserat ist noch viel länger)
- If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.(Anmerkung autoalfred: Wie ein Waisenkind in einem Dickens-Roman)
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer* to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
*( Kugelhammer)
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.
-Why are you such a dick? ("Warum bist so ein Arschloch?"
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.
(Gefunden von Zin-Azahiari)
Beste Antwort im Thema
Hier wird nicht nur ein Jeep inseriert, hier geht es um eine ganze Weltanschauung eines Rednecks von echtem Schrot und Korn.
Man muss solche Typen nicht unbedingt mögen (insbesondere die auch hier zutage tretende Waffen-Verliebtheit), aber wer sich nicht nur für amerikanische Autos interessiert, sondern auch für das Leben in Amerika, für den ist der Verkaufs-Text ein Muss!
Zitate aus dem Text: (Das Inserat ist noch viel länger)
- If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
- If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.(Anmerkung autoalfred: Wie ein Waisenkind in einem Dickens-Roman)
-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.
-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.
-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer* to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
*( Kugelhammer)
-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.
-Why are you such a dick? ("Warum bist so ein Arschloch?"
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.
(Gefunden von Zin-Azahiari)
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15 Antworten
Mir sind in OK noch keine "Nicht-Red-Necks" begegnet....